. The Rocky Roadhouse from Big Gay Ice Cream
“This Rocky Roadhouse just rocked my world, man. See what I did there? Yea, I did that.”
3. Chicken and Waffles from Sweet Chick
“If waffles didn’t have little squares in them, do you think they’d be pancakes? Don’t answer that. I don’t think I can handle it.”
4. Falafels from Mamoun’s Falafel
“Wait, I just thought of something amazing. I fala-FELL for these falafels. Wait, I just thought of another one! I fala-FELL for these falafels.”
5. Maple Bacon Croissant Doughnut from The Donut Pub
“God definitely exists. No, she just told me. Like just now. It’s not a big deal, but, yeah, she’s here, so be cool.”
6. The Eastsider Burger from Paul’s Da Burger Joint
Courtesy of Paul’s Da Burger Joint/ paulsburgersnyc.com / Photo by NYC Food Photo /nycfoodphoto.com
“This hamburger actually has ham in it. Ham…burger. It’s exactly what it says it is, unlike that baby over there — why is he smiling? I KNOW YOU WORK FOR THE GOVERNMENT, YOU LITTLE FLESHBAG.”
7. Deep-Fried Mars Bar from A Salt & Battery
Courtesy of A Salt & Battery / asaltandbattery.com
[Eats Mars Bar.]
[Can’t speak for five minutes.]
“Yes. Yup. Again. We’re doing that again. Where’s my wallet? Never mind, there’s no time, GO!”
[Can’t speak for five minutes.]
“Yes. Yup. Again. We’re doing that again. Where’s my wallet? Never mind, there’s no time, GO!”
8. Chicken Nuggets from The Nugget Spot
“How ‘bout dem nuggets?! Remember? Matt Damon? My dealer looks like Matt Damon. He died. Not actually, but like we don’t talk much.”
10. Vodka Pizza from Artichoke Pizza
Courtesy of Artichoke Pizza / artichokepizza.com
“There is vodka in this pizza. There is vodka in this pizza. There is vodka in this pizza. There is vodka in this pizza. There is vodka in this pizza. There is vodka in this pizza. There is vodka in this pizza.”
11. Churros on the NQR platform at Union Square (if you’re lucky)
stu_spivack / (CC BY-SA 2.0) / flic.kr
“Chu-Ross and Rachel. ‘WE WERE ON A BREAK.’ Classic. Remember? I wonder if you can smoke through a churro…”
12. Arepa Sandwiches from Caracas Arepa Bar
“I don’t exactly know what an arepa is. All I know is I love and respect it for bringing me so much joy…like my mom. I should call my mom. Hello, Mom? Wait, I didn’t dial yet.”
13. Nutella Doughnut from Dough
“Nutella rhymes with…Butella. But why would I want a Butella doughnut, like why would you say that? I didn’t say that, you’re talking to yourself! I am? Oh, hi! Hey, get me a Butella doughnut k thx.”
14. The English Breakfast from Tea & Sympathy
Courtesy of Tea & Sympathy / teaandsympathy.com
“[Sigh] This reminds me of home. I miss it so much. The U.K. feels so far away. But also I’m from Wisconsin… I’m high as a bloody banger right now.”
15. Literally anything from Economy Candy
“Maybe we’re all just candy in a candy store for the aliens to eat, and they scoop us up in a paper bag and weigh us by the pound ugh I’m getting fat OOH IS THAT ROCK CANDY?!”
16. Outrageous milkshakes from Black Tap
“Is this heaven? Are we in heaven right now? Heaven is such a funny word. Heaven. Hea. Ven. Hey! Ven! Wait, who’s Ven?”
17. Empanadas from VSPOT
“This dough is holding the filling so tenderly, like it’s just giving the filling a nice warm hug, and the filling knows that dough will always be there, you know? It’s not gonna go off and date a bunch of dudes and forget to feed your hedgehog so it dies on your birthday. Hang on, I gotta call Mom again.”
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